He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
