I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
