the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
