either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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