just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
