Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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