Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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