i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
