Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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