My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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