This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
