Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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