There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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