do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
