do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
