You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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