....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
