Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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