i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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