I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
