so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize