seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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