you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
