sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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