I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
