I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
