if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
