Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
