I'm going to jail i love you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
