Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
