in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
