Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
