I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
