If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
