I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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