You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
