508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
