Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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