Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Moan for me like Helen Keller
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
