addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
