We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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