I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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