he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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