You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
