Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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