god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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