and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
