You can't motorboat a personality
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
