Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
