dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
