you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
