I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
